For these Tough Times

I finished (and started) my second book for the Thomas Nelson BRB project yesterday. For these Tough Times by Max Lucado. I am not a fast reader so the fact that I started and finished it in one afternoon tells you that it is a very accessible book. I was drawn to the title because of my personal journey over these past several years and while Lucado certainly does not dive into the depths and complexities of dealing with grief and loss he does provide the reader with some good reminders about who God is, the fact that we are not Him (and thus lack His understanding), the fact that He does love us, and the fact that He is accessible to us. In addition to being drawn to the title because of my own personal journey, I also wanted to evaluate it for its appropriateness to give to other parents and families that are dealing with tremendous loss. Because Lucado presupposes the reader already has a belief in God and at least a basic understanding of the Biblical narrative, the book falls a little short in its general applicability. While there is something to be said for writing to your audience, Lucado has defined his audience so narrowly that it really cannot be used as a resource to introduce the love and care of God to people dealing with great loss and suffering that don't already know Him.

Merry Christmas

The Appropriate Use of Words

I feel obliged to say right up front that in general I am not a fan of swearing. Unlike some people, It doesn't particularly offend me when others swear, I just typically find swearing to be a cop out for not learning and using more descriptive and appropriate language. Also I find swear words usually have the effect of cheapening the message that the speaker is trying to deliver. That being said I do believe swears, just like all other words, when used appropriately, can be very effective at expressing a specific thought or feeling that no other word can express. Some examples from my own life (as this is a family friendly blog I have masked the actual words but you will get the point. I will ask your forgiveness in advance if I have offended you):

• Having a child with a life-shortening illness really S**KS.
• Spending weeks on end living in a hospital with your child feels like it must be H**L.
• After your child dies (and I'm sure its the same for your spouse, parent, etc..) there are some days when you really feel like S**T.

Not Created Here syndrome

Although I am not a doctor I think I have discovered a new syndrome (A syndrome is a collection of signs and symptoms known to frequently appear together but without a known cause). In the medical world the person who discovers a syndrome or disease usually gets to name it so I have decided to name this new syndrome 'Not Created Here' syndrome. If you encounter someone with this syndrome you will need to be very careful as it has been known to immobilize what could otherwise be a highly functioning team, from making progress on any sort of meaningful project or initiative. Some of the symptoms you need to watch out for are:

1. The compulsive need to restate another person's idea in different words and then act like they came up with it themselves.
2. Nitpicking some specific detail of an idea, and thus dismissing the entire thing, before understanding the big picture concept.
3. Dismissing someone's idea or point of view because they do not have the 'appropriate' experience or qualifications.
4. Acting completely disinterested in meetings if the conversation does not revolve around them or their ideas.
5. Ignoring suggestions and feedback because the person giving them does not have the 'authority' to do so.
6. Agreeing in private and then acting like the idea is ridiculous in front of superiors.
7. Expecting others to keep them informed about everything and only sharing details about what they are doing when they need something from someone.
8. Being nice to people only when they need something from them.

A Different Voice

It is amazing to me how sometimes two people can say the same exact thing to the same exact person and person one is responded to like they are an idiot and person two like they are the smartest person in the world.

A suggestion for those of you who respond more based on who is speaking rather than on what is being said. STOP IT!

If you are lucky, the people you do this to only find you really annoying. More than likely they find you very hurtful and really think far worse of you. If you have some predisposition against a certain person try closing your eyes and pretend someone else is talking, would it make a difference to how you respond?

In Loving Memory of:

Tonight we remember the children we know who were taken from us too soon and we say a prayer for all of their families who love and miss them.

Connor
Kyle
Evan
Zach
Sam
Aubrey
Ryan
Tommy
Tyler
Grace
Danny
Josh
Danny S.
Wesley
Joel
Maxine
Mattie
Nathan
Victoria
Sara
Kevin
Christian
Landon
Izzy
Charis

Who moved?

Last night we got to spend an evening with 150 of our 'older' friends at an annual holiday dinner that our church hosts for seniors that live in some of the local senior apartment complexes and assisted living centers. It was a great night and a good time was had by all.

Deb and I are lucky enough to get to spend one Sunday afternoon a month with several of these great people at a Bible study we lead at one of the complexes. To tell you the truth we probably get more out of it than they do. I love hanging out with 'older' people mostly because they are just fun. However, their years of experience also seem to give most of them a simplistic wisdom that refocuses me on what is important in life. And since we usually get to hear most of the stories multiple times their lessons usually eventually sink in. One of the things I have learned from my friend Lillian (pictured above) is this. When you feel like God is far away, ask yourself this: Who moved?