Identify and Confront the Issues

Some things are really hard to deal with. However, if you want to affect change usually the best choice is to take the direct approach. It may be uncomfortable. It may be downright painful, but until you can name the issues and identify them openly and honestly you can never deal with them.

Take for example pediatric palliative care. People don't like to talk about it because it forces them to deal with death and dying. Even worse, to deal with children dying and of course we all know that children are not supposed to die. So, we just don't talk about it. We find other words to describe it (which just confuses people) and we put off the conversation until it is too late to do anything about it. Once you confront the issue though, you can talk about it. So guess what ***BREAKING NEWS*** I'm going to die, you are going to die, and too many really sick kids in this world are going to die. I'm sorry. It is an awful fact, but it is a fact. So now that we have identified that fact, let's move on and have honest conversations about how we are going to maximize the quality of life for children with complex health care needs, together with their families, from diagnosis through death and beyond. Ignoring it won't make it go away but it will most certainly make the process more painful and lead to more regret. If managed correctly dying only has to be painful for those left behind and far too often that is not the case.

I've picked an extreme example because it is something I'm passionate about seeing changed, but the same principle can be applied to family issues, marital issues, work issues, etc. Yes, the conversations may be very painful but long term, not having them will be more painful.