The world has changed. Unemployment is up. Real estate is down. Poverty is up. Spending is down. The deficit is up (for many households and governments). Charitable giving is down. The number of people using food pantry's is up..etc..etc..
The world has changed. Some say for the worse others say for the better. When hard times strike we no longer know what to do because we have raised a generation that has never had to work hard for anything. A generation where everyone gets a trophy and loosing teams get to play consolation games instead of having their seasons end early. Maybe these challenging times will help our children learn the values of hard work and dedication that got lost somewhere along the way.
We need a different way of thinking. Not to figure out how to return to excesses of the past two decades but to chart a new more healthy and rationale course forward for ourselves, our families, our companies and our countries.
Seth Godin has organized a group of over 60 big thinkers, from all different walks of life, to give their insights and ideas about What Matters Now. Their thoughts have been compiled in a just released FREE ebook. Read it, download it, share it, keep the conversation going. No single person has all the answers but together we can create a better future.
What Matters Now
We remember...
Tonight we remember these children who touched our lives. Each year the list grows but the memories never fade.Connor
Kyle
Evan
Zach
Sam
Aubrey
Ryan
Tommy
Tyler
Grace
Danny
Wesley
Joel
Maxine
Mattie
Nathan
Victoria
Sara
Christian
Danny
Landon
Kevin
Charis
Justin
Brody
Noah
Gavin
Andrew
Evan
Heather
Elijah
Coleman
Armstrong
Kyle
Evan
Zach
Sam
Aubrey
Ryan
Tommy
Tyler
Grace
Danny
Wesley
Joel
Maxine
Mattie
Nathan
Victoria
Sara
Christian
Danny
Landon
Kevin
Charis
Justin
Brody
Noah
Gavin
Andrew
Evan
Heather
Elijah
Coleman
Armstrong
It shouldn’t be so hard...
The following quote from one of the parents Connor's House supports illustrates the sad reality that is the American medical system. The fragmented and territorial nature of our health care system places an unnecessary and often almost unmanageable burden of care coordination on the parents of children with complex health care needs and life-shortening conditions.
"Trying to coordinate an appt with two doctors in the city, one in the burbs (where we are) and us...I think it is the equivalent to trying to bring peace to the Middle East!! It shouldn't be so hard..."
Stress
Stress is like rain for the world's crops. Too little and there is drought. Too much and there is disaster. Right now I feel like it has been raining for about two weeks straight. It's not a disaster yet but I could sure use a sunny day sometime soon.
Maximize your investment
If you have earned a lot of money I suppose that gives you the right to spend it however you want to. But can I make a suggestion to very wealthy people who either have, or are considering, running for political office. It likely sounds naive but I will give anyone who runs for public office the benefit of the doubt that they really do want to make a difference in peoples lives. If that is the case, I would encourage them to really think about whether spending millions upon millions of dollars, of their own money, on an election campaign is the best way to make a difference in people's lives. Even if you are elected the difference you make must exceed the amount you spent to get elected, otherwise you didn't maximize your investment in people's lives. Is Micheal Bloomberg really going to make $100 million dollars of difference in people's lives over the next four years as Mayor of New York (could he have accomplished just as much with an investment of only $50 million)? We could have built Connor's House and operated it FOREVER on less than the cost of the New York Mayors race (If you would like to make a contribution Mr. Bloomberg please click here). John Corzine, Mit Romney, Steve Forbes...what benefit will ever be realized by the millions you spent on your losing campaigns? Carly Fiorina, as you begin your quest for a Senate seat I urge you to think about this question as you consider how much of your vast resources to invest in your political campaign. Win or loose, consider if your investment will maximize the benefit received by others.
Marketing 101
If nothing else, I remember one thing from my Marketing 101 class in college. If you are going to run a national campaign introducing a new product you better have it available in the store when customers come in and want to buy it. The quintessential example of this is the 1988 Oldsmobile campaign 'Not Your Father's Oldsmobile'. Not only did this campaign destroy the brands' dedicated customer base but when the ads began to air, the new models were not yet available on the showroom floor. This marketing debacle is typically credited as the beginning of the end for the Oldsmobile brand, which GM eventually shuttered in 2004 (disclosure: my father drove Oldsmobile's for my entire childhood and I hated every last one of them).
Today I was out running errands during lunch and stopped by Dunkin' Donuts' to grab a cup of coffee. I got my coffee and as I was turning to leave the person behind me ordered a pumpkin latte (I'm personally not a big fan of Dunkin' Donuts' lattes but that is not the point). The counter person informed her that they did not have that flavor and asked if she would like vanilla.
So it is the day before Halloween (mischief night if you are from NJ), Dunkin' Donuts has been plastering the airways with their 'Pumpkin' commercials for weeks, the store I am in even has a pumpkin latte poster in the window; and they don't have any to sell. Seriously? I was instantaneously transported back in time to Marketing 101, thanks for the trip down memory lane Dunkin' Donuts.
Today I was out running errands during lunch and stopped by Dunkin' Donuts' to grab a cup of coffee. I got my coffee and as I was turning to leave the person behind me ordered a pumpkin latte (I'm personally not a big fan of Dunkin' Donuts' lattes but that is not the point). The counter person informed her that they did not have that flavor and asked if she would like vanilla.
So it is the day before Halloween (mischief night if you are from NJ), Dunkin' Donuts has been plastering the airways with their 'Pumpkin' commercials for weeks, the store I am in even has a pumpkin latte poster in the window; and they don't have any to sell. Seriously? I was instantaneously transported back in time to Marketing 101, thanks for the trip down memory lane Dunkin' Donuts.
Is it worth winning?
Does our American ethos of success and winning lead us to ask the wrong questions? Questions we typically ask when we face a problem revolve around 'Can We?' but is this always the right way to think about everything?
Certainly 'Can We?' questions help lead to advances in technology, science, health care and many other fields but is it always the right question? Before asking 'Can We?' we first need to answer the questions 'Should We?' and 'Is it Worth it?'. We need to more appropriately define winning and count the cost of winning before we ask 'Can We Win?'.
Most news reports I hear about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq center solely around questions like 'Can We Win?' but does anyone really understand anymore 'What' we are trying to win and whether or not that 'What' is worth the cost of winning?
The same question needs to be asked far more often in health care. Our society has defined extending life as winning and death as losing. But at what cost? Is one more day, week, or month lying in a hospital bed, in extreme discomfort, separated from family and loved ones really 'winning' for a young child and their family?
Certainly 'Can We?' questions help lead to advances in technology, science, health care and many other fields but is it always the right question? Before asking 'Can We?' we first need to answer the questions 'Should We?' and 'Is it Worth it?'. We need to more appropriately define winning and count the cost of winning before we ask 'Can We Win?'.
Most news reports I hear about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq center solely around questions like 'Can We Win?' but does anyone really understand anymore 'What' we are trying to win and whether or not that 'What' is worth the cost of winning?
The same question needs to be asked far more often in health care. Our society has defined extending life as winning and death as losing. But at what cost? Is one more day, week, or month lying in a hospital bed, in extreme discomfort, separated from family and loved ones really 'winning' for a young child and their family?
A Franciscan Benediction...
I first heard this benediction at the end of talk by Craig Groeschel a couple years ago. I have been holding onto it ever since then waiting for an appropriate time to use it. This weekend I have the opportunity to speak at our church on the topic of community service and outreach and I thought that would be the perfect time to use it. But while working on my talk this morning I decided that it was simply too good to save for Sunday so here is my benediction for you today.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
The Nobel Peace Prize. Really?
It was announced today that President Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. Really? Frankly this strikes me as a little odd. To the best of my knowledge, the Nobel prizes are meant to recognize outstanding accomplishments. The deadline for this years prize was February 1st, 2009. Not even a full two weeks after Mr. Obama took the oath of office. What exactly did he accomplish in those two weeks that put him ahead of the other 204 nominees? Apparently the Nobel Foundation has decided to start making awards based on vision, ideas and intentions instead of implementation and results. A slippery slope to be sure.
Disclaimer: This post is not, nor should it be construed to be derogatory towards President Obama. Nobody can be fairly judged or rewarded based on two weeks of work. A proper evaluation of an individuals impact on a global stage can simply not be made that quickly, no matter who you are.
Disclaimer: This post is not, nor should it be construed to be derogatory towards President Obama. Nobody can be fairly judged or rewarded based on two weeks of work. A proper evaluation of an individuals impact on a global stage can simply not be made that quickly, no matter who you are.
By the numbers
Here is a recap of our recent tour of UK Children's Hospices by the numbers:
- Days: 19
- Nights: 18
- Flights: 3
- Miles Driven: 1,303
- Children's Hospices visited: 12
- Towns visited: 17
- Places we stayed at: 9
- Castles visited: 3
- Cathedrals visited: 2
- Pictures taken: 1,397
- Miles run: 39.5 (my Garmin watch worked in the UK)
- The weight of John Adams by David McCullough: 3 pounds (I only know this because it caused my bag to be overweight)
- Cost: does not matter, the trip was worth every penny (or pence)
Get up from your desk
In the midst of our tour of UK hospices we had a little bit of down time in London this past weekend. While wandering around the city on a beautiful Saturday afternoon we came across an art gallery displaying photos taken as part of the Shoot Nations Growing Up in the 21st Century contest. The caption on one of the pictures really struck me.
'A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.' A girl daydreams outside the limitations of school.
Research and study are important, phone calls are helpful, but the world you learn about from behind your desk is at best two dimensional. We have learned so much over the past two weeks on our tour that we never would have otherwise understood about the children's hospice model in the UK.
Reading about models and methods for providing children’s hospice and palliative care services online was important but it did not begin to teach us everything we need to know. You cannot capture the laugh of a child as their care worker blows bubbles in his face through a picture. You cannot appreciate the feeling you get when you walk into a bereavement suite through a set of floor plans. You cannot replicate the conversation around a dinner table between parents, children and care staff over a conference call. These types of things can only be learned and experienced in person.
Is there something you want to know more about in this world? If so, put the book down, shut down your computer and go out and learn about it in person. You won't be sorry.
'A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.' A girl daydreams outside the limitations of school.
Research and study are important, phone calls are helpful, but the world you learn about from behind your desk is at best two dimensional. We have learned so much over the past two weeks on our tour that we never would have otherwise understood about the children's hospice model in the UK.Reading about models and methods for providing children’s hospice and palliative care services online was important but it did not begin to teach us everything we need to know. You cannot capture the laugh of a child as their care worker blows bubbles in his face through a picture. You cannot appreciate the feeling you get when you walk into a bereavement suite through a set of floor plans. You cannot replicate the conversation around a dinner table between parents, children and care staff over a conference call. These types of things can only be learned and experienced in person.
Is there something you want to know more about in this world? If so, put the book down, shut down your computer and go out and learn about it in person. You won't be sorry.
Grieving the past in order to create the future
I do not tend to be an overly emotional person. But, I have been dealing with an interesting little piece of grief so far during our UK tour that I did not expect. I expected to be inspired, energized and further motivated to push the development of Connor's House forward, which I certainly have been, but I have also found a new grief here which I did not at all expect.
After completing four of twelve planned house tours and participating in a remembrance service, I find myself grieving the fact that we never had the opportunity to benefit from the types of services and supports that the children's hospices here provide (and that we hope to provide). I find myself grieving the fact that Connor never had the opportunity to go to a place where they truly accepted him the way these places accept and love the children they serve. The passion and dedication the people here have about the work they do is inspiring.
Reading about these places and talking about our goals for Connor's House theoretically was one thing. Seeing it in action is something totally different, which has created a totally different response than I had anticipated. That is the funny thing about grief. It often strikes when you least expect it. And often it strikes when you expect to feel the exact opposite and I think those are the hardest times.
The caterpillar dies so the butterfly could be born.
And, yet, the caterpillar lives in the butterfly and
they are but one. So, when I die, it will be that I
have been transformed from the caterpillar of earth to
the butterfly of the universe.
-- John Harricharan
After completing four of twelve planned house tours and participating in a remembrance service, I find myself grieving the fact that we never had the opportunity to benefit from the types of services and supports that the children's hospices here provide (and that we hope to provide). I find myself grieving the fact that Connor never had the opportunity to go to a place where they truly accepted him the way these places accept and love the children they serve. The passion and dedication the people here have about the work they do is inspiring.
Reading about these places and talking about our goals for Connor's House theoretically was one thing. Seeing it in action is something totally different, which has created a totally different response than I had anticipated. That is the funny thing about grief. It often strikes when you least expect it. And often it strikes when you expect to feel the exact opposite and I think those are the hardest times.
The caterpillar dies so the butterfly could be born.
And, yet, the caterpillar lives in the butterfly and
they are but one. So, when I die, it will be that I
have been transformed from the caterpillar of earth to
the butterfly of the universe.
-- John Harricharan
Connor's House Holiday Cards
We are excited to announce the availability of Connor's House Holiday Cards. Each card contains custom holiday artwork created by children with complex health care needs or life shortening conditions. Order yours today and help spread the Connor's House message to everyone on your holiday card list this year. Click on the banner above to place your order.
Face to Face
Connor's House is going on the road! Tuesday morning Deb and I will be leaving for the UK as part of British Airways Face to Face program. The Face to Face program asked companies to submit essays describing why a face to face meeting, anywhere British Airways flies, would help grow their business.
The model that Connor's House is largely based on originated in Oxford England in 1982 at a place called Helen House. Today there are 42 children's hospice houses across the UK (compare that to 1 in the US).
We submitted an essay, to Face to Face, for Connor's House discussing how the opportunity to visit the children's hospice houses in the UK would provide us with an invaluable opportunity to learn first hand from the pioneers in the field of children's hospice and palliative care services. And surprise surprise, British Airways agreed with us. They selected Connor's House as one the winners and are giving us two round trip tickets to the UK.
Over the next two and a half weeks we will travel across the UK from London to Scotland and back spending time with 10 different children's charities that between them operate 14 children's hospice houses. We will also be meeting with officials from the National Health Service (NHS) to learn about the services offered through the UK health system to children with complex health care needs.
This is an amazing opportunity for us and we can't wait to see what we learn and how it will enhance our thinking and improve our plans for Connor's House. We will be sharing what we learn as we go so stay tuned...
Something had to give
So it has been two weeks since my last blog post. The longest I have gone between posts since I started this little site just about 10 months ago. I really try to update the blog at least three times a week (and if you follow me with any consistency you already know that I am not and this represents merely an ideal not a reality). There is really nothing special about that frequency, just sort of my own goal to keep things current and help me process through the things that are going on around me.
Unfortunately over the past two weeks I have found myself in the perfect storm. My day job at the church has been crazy as we are in the middle of kicking off our new fall schedule, adjusting to two staff departures and launching a new outreach initiative to combat hunger in our community. Connor's House has been equally crazy. We held our fifth blood drive today (thanks as always to all the donors and our partner the Blood Center of NJ) and are simultaneously prepping to launch a new funding campaign and holiday card fundraiser, embark on a tour of UK Children's Hospice Houses and review preliminary pre-qualifications for architects for the house (more on the first three later this week).
I'm not complaining or asking for sympathy, just explaining the gap in posting and I suppose doing a little self justification at the same time. Unfortunately something had to give and the blog was it. Actually it was just one of the things that was put on the back burner but I won't bore you with details about missed workouts, my lawn that needs to be mowed, etc...
I also won't promise that this will be the last long unplanned layoff from the blog (the best boss I ever worked for taught me never to speak in absolutes) but please stay tuned because there's going to be a lot of exciting stuff going on over the next couple of weeks at Connor's House, plus the new hunger initiative I am working on has me pretty excited, and I wouldn't want you to miss any of it ;)
Unfortunately over the past two weeks I have found myself in the perfect storm. My day job at the church has been crazy as we are in the middle of kicking off our new fall schedule, adjusting to two staff departures and launching a new outreach initiative to combat hunger in our community. Connor's House has been equally crazy. We held our fifth blood drive today (thanks as always to all the donors and our partner the Blood Center of NJ) and are simultaneously prepping to launch a new funding campaign and holiday card fundraiser, embark on a tour of UK Children's Hospice Houses and review preliminary pre-qualifications for architects for the house (more on the first three later this week).
I'm not complaining or asking for sympathy, just explaining the gap in posting and I suppose doing a little self justification at the same time. Unfortunately something had to give and the blog was it. Actually it was just one of the things that was put on the back burner but I won't bore you with details about missed workouts, my lawn that needs to be mowed, etc...
I also won't promise that this will be the last long unplanned layoff from the blog (the best boss I ever worked for taught me never to speak in absolutes) but please stay tuned because there's going to be a lot of exciting stuff going on over the next couple of weeks at Connor's House, plus the new hunger initiative I am working on has me pretty excited, and I wouldn't want you to miss any of it ;)
And the winner is....
What's the real issue?
The real issue preventing us from moving forward with health care reform in this country is not politics, advanced directives, end of life care, public plans or any of the other myriad of reasons you hear in the news.
Those are all just convenient distractions that allow us to ignore the real issue. The real issue preventing us from moving forward with health care reform is us. You and me. 'Us' you say? How could we possibly be the problem? Simple because fundamentally we are selfish. Our own human nature and society have ingrained in us a "me first" mentality. We may say we care about others and are committed to helping the poor and down-trodden, and many of us do many great things to help those less fortunate than ourselves. But (and this is a BIG BUT) the harsh reality is, we largely only care about other people to the extent that helping them will not require us to either pay more or give up something we feel we have earned or deserve. In other words helping other people is great as long as we don't have to sacrifice too much.
The notion that we can insure the approximately 46 million uninsured Americans without each and every one of us either paying more, or giving up something, is ludicrous.
So there is the real issue. Are you willing to pay more so someone without the ability to pay can go to the doctor? Are you willing to forgo an elective procedure so your neighbor can receive preventative care?
What are you willing to give up, or pay more for, so 46 million Americans can have health insurance?
Those are all just convenient distractions that allow us to ignore the real issue. The real issue preventing us from moving forward with health care reform is us. You and me. 'Us' you say? How could we possibly be the problem? Simple because fundamentally we are selfish. Our own human nature and society have ingrained in us a "me first" mentality. We may say we care about others and are committed to helping the poor and down-trodden, and many of us do many great things to help those less fortunate than ourselves. But (and this is a BIG BUT) the harsh reality is, we largely only care about other people to the extent that helping them will not require us to either pay more or give up something we feel we have earned or deserve. In other words helping other people is great as long as we don't have to sacrifice too much.
The notion that we can insure the approximately 46 million uninsured Americans without each and every one of us either paying more, or giving up something, is ludicrous.
So there is the real issue. Are you willing to pay more so someone without the ability to pay can go to the doctor? Are you willing to forgo an elective procedure so your neighbor can receive preventative care?
What are you willing to give up, or pay more for, so 46 million Americans can have health insurance?
Compassion vs. Social Justice
Both are important and necessary but they are often confused. Here are a couple examples to help understand the difference between the two:
Compassion: Giving a hungry person something to eat
Social Justice: Doing something about why they are hungry
Compassion: Giving an unemployed person money to help pay the bills
Social Justice: Helping to remove the barriers that keep them from getting a job
Compassion: Giving a hungry person something to eat
Social Justice: Doing something about why they are hungry
Compassion: Giving an unemployed person money to help pay the bills
Social Justice: Helping to remove the barriers that keep them from getting a job
What is the goal of medicine?
A great clip from Mental that highlights one of the primary issues preventing the widespread adoption of palliative care principles. What is the goal of physicians?
So What is the Goal? To heal the injured or to alleviate pain and suffering?
So What is the Goal? To heal the injured or to alleviate pain and suffering?
We have so far to go..
NPR ran a story this morning discussing how one of the provisions in the current version of the proposed health care plan, which will make advanced directive planning a covered service under medicaid (every 5 years), is being misrepresented as a provision to teach people how to die sooner in order to save the government money.
Setting aside the political issues raised in the story, the fact that our societal views (fears really) about death and dying would even allow the issue of advanced directives to be misconstrued in such a way, tells us how far we still have to go to achieve an appropriate balance between the pursuit of curative treatments and quality of life concerns.
It takes more than good ideas
If you want to create sustainable change it takes more than good ideas. It takes implementation. All the ideas in the world are worthless without good implementation. So why do so many good ideas fail to get implemented? Because ideas are relatively easy to come up with. Even a dysfunctional group of people, with the aide of a good facilitator can typically in just a couple of hours come up with ideas to solve problems (and some of them might even be good). But implementation is different. Implementation takes dedication and hard work and there is not a high probability that the dysfunctional group will be able to implement any of their ideas, no matter how good.
So here is my hierarchy of ideas and the ability to implement them from least effective to most effective.
1. Problem, what problem?
2. We have a problem but we have no idea how to fix it.
3. We have a problem. We have ideas (not necessarily good ones). What's implementation?
4. We have a problem. We have good ideas. We can't implement them.
5. We have a problem. We have great ideas. We don't know how to implement them.
6. We have a problem. We have ideas and an implementation plan.
7. We have a problem. We have good ideas and an implementation plan.
8. We have a problem. We have great ideas and an implementation plan.
You could keep slicing this down and discuss the effectiveness of the implementation plan, the evaluation cycle, etc. etc.. but the point is even mediocre ideas that can be implemented are better than great ideas that you don't know what to do with.
So, what are you doing with all the good ideas you have?
So here is my hierarchy of ideas and the ability to implement them from least effective to most effective.
1. Problem, what problem?
2. We have a problem but we have no idea how to fix it.
3. We have a problem. We have ideas (not necessarily good ones). What's implementation?
4. We have a problem. We have good ideas. We can't implement them.
5. We have a problem. We have great ideas. We don't know how to implement them.
6. We have a problem. We have ideas and an implementation plan.
7. We have a problem. We have good ideas and an implementation plan.
8. We have a problem. We have great ideas and an implementation plan.
You could keep slicing this down and discuss the effectiveness of the implementation plan, the evaluation cycle, etc. etc.. but the point is even mediocre ideas that can be implemented are better than great ideas that you don't know what to do with.
So, what are you doing with all the good ideas you have?
Recruiting Volunteers
When you are trying to recruit supporters and volunteers to your cause you need to be very specific. Telling them what you are doing is important but more importantly you have to tell them what you want them to do.
Where are you going?
If you want to complete your projects and achieve your goals you have to know where you are going. To develop a successful plan for any endeavor you must begin with the end in mind. You must be able to clearly define success and see the completed work in your minds eye.
When I build a training plan for a race I begin with my target finish time. When we remodeled and expanded one of our bathrooms we began by developing a final floor plan. When we started the strategic planning for Connor's House we asked a simple question: What will be the newspaper headline in 5 years? A long time ago when I started my consulting career I set a goal date for when I wanted to get my second promotion (yes second because I wanted a big enough goal). At the beginning of every project I have ever managed I ask the client to answer two of the following three questions and I calculate the answer to the third:
So where are you going?
When I build a training plan for a race I begin with my target finish time. When we remodeled and expanded one of our bathrooms we began by developing a final floor plan. When we started the strategic planning for Connor's House we asked a simple question: What will be the newspaper headline in 5 years? A long time ago when I started my consulting career I set a goal date for when I wanted to get my second promotion (yes second because I wanted a big enough goal). At the beginning of every project I have ever managed I ask the client to answer two of the following three questions and I calculate the answer to the third:
- What is the target implementation date?
- What is the budget?
- What are the requirements?
So where are you going?
Am I in the right place?
I often use my time in the car to catch up on the news and my station of choice is NPR. Today like many other days I got in my car to go to a mid-afternoon appointment and as usual the radio was already turned on. I found myself listening to Moby Dick by Led Zeppelin. An excellent song (imho) but certainly not the typical fare of NPR so I figured the station must have somehow gotten switched (not exactly sure how) so I instinctively reached for the NPR radio preset button and much to my surprise found myself still listening to Moby Dick. The song eventually faded out and the announcer came on and began talking about how John Bonham would often play the drum solo from Moby Dick for up to 20 minutes in concerts while the rest of the band left the stage. At this point I turned the radio off, too confused to stick around and figure out why NPR was talking about Jon Bonham's drum solos.
Innovation is good and I do like when organizations try new things but always be careful not to do something so drastically different that your customers instinctively don't think it is you anymore.
Innovation is good and I do like when organizations try new things but always be careful not to do something so drastically different that your customers instinctively don't think it is you anymore.
and for you Mr. President?
Tonight President Obama will be hosting the two men at the center of the recent racial profiling scandal, in Cambridge, MA, at the White House. As has been well reported, they will be sitting down to discuss their issues over a beer. Alcohol has long been used to grease the skids for negotiations and apparently this age old tactic is not below the President of the United States.
With all the different angles and issues to be dissected and analyzed about this meeting here is arguably the most important: What type of beer will they be drinking? Apparently at the White House even your drink orders have to be vetted and their choices have been the topic of some debate. NPR even ran a story on it last evening. So if you're curious here is what the three men will be drinking:
President Obama - Bud Light (originally reported as just Bud but the president's press secretary notified the media of the correction in his afternoon press conference yesterday - no joke)
Professor Gates - Red Stripe
Sgt. Crowley - Blue Moon
Bottoms up gentleman!
With all the different angles and issues to be dissected and analyzed about this meeting here is arguably the most important: What type of beer will they be drinking? Apparently at the White House even your drink orders have to be vetted and their choices have been the topic of some debate. NPR even ran a story on it last evening. So if you're curious here is what the three men will be drinking:
President Obama - Bud Light (originally reported as just Bud but the president's press secretary notified the media of the correction in his afternoon press conference yesterday - no joke)
Professor Gates - Red Stripe
Sgt. Crowley - Blue Moon
Bottoms up gentleman!
Seriously?
They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. Well, here are 1,000 words about the growing obesity issue in America. (Note: if twinkies are not your favorite you could also get a deep fried oreo or banana at this fine establishment.)
Winning by losing
Officially Lance Armstrong did not win le Tour de France in his return to the race after a 3 year 'retirement' but he may have done more to help promote his Livestrong Foundation internationally by losing.
So is it possible? Can you really win when you actually lose? It depends on what your goal is. While Lance Armstrong has long been admired in the United States for both his professional and philanthropic achievements he has at the same time been equally reviled across Europe, especially in France, the home of le Tour.
The complete focus, dedication and cut throat nature that led Armstrong to the pinnacle of professional cycling and an unprecedented seven consecutive Tour victories from 1999-2005 also made him appear cold, calculating and unapproachable. A very bad combination if you are trying to gain broad based public support for a charitable cause.
But a funny thing happened during the 3,500km (2,174 miles) trip to Paris this year. Lance Armstrong became a human being. While still finishing an amazing 3rd in the Tour (at age 37 the third oldest podium finish in the 106 year tour history) Armstrong is no longer unbeatable, at least in the world of competitive cycling, and that just might help him become a stronger international force for his foundation. Why? Because in losing he showed the world, most importantly a jaundiced European public that he can be both humble and gracious and is willing to make personal sacrifices for the good of the overall cause (in this case playing a supporting role to help his teammate win the Tour); and those traits will take you a long way in gaining the broad based public support necessary for a charitable cause to be successful.
So did Lance Armstrong win? I guess that depends on the measurement. If his goal was to win le Tour de France then no, he fell short. But, if his goal was, as he often stated, to promote his the Livestrong foundation internationally then he most certainly won.
So is it possible? Can you really win when you actually lose? It depends on what your goal is. While Lance Armstrong has long been admired in the United States for both his professional and philanthropic achievements he has at the same time been equally reviled across Europe, especially in France, the home of le Tour.
The complete focus, dedication and cut throat nature that led Armstrong to the pinnacle of professional cycling and an unprecedented seven consecutive Tour victories from 1999-2005 also made him appear cold, calculating and unapproachable. A very bad combination if you are trying to gain broad based public support for a charitable cause.
But a funny thing happened during the 3,500km (2,174 miles) trip to Paris this year. Lance Armstrong became a human being. While still finishing an amazing 3rd in the Tour (at age 37 the third oldest podium finish in the 106 year tour history) Armstrong is no longer unbeatable, at least in the world of competitive cycling, and that just might help him become a stronger international force for his foundation. Why? Because in losing he showed the world, most importantly a jaundiced European public that he can be both humble and gracious and is willing to make personal sacrifices for the good of the overall cause (in this case playing a supporting role to help his teammate win the Tour); and those traits will take you a long way in gaining the broad based public support necessary for a charitable cause to be successful.
So did Lance Armstrong win? I guess that depends on the measurement. If his goal was to win le Tour de France then no, he fell short. But, if his goal was, as he often stated, to promote his the Livestrong foundation internationally then he most certainly won.
Waiting for the Sun
About a year and a half ago Deb and I visited London for a few days. I worked in London for a short time and had some experience in the city but it was all new for Deb and mostly new for me from a tourist perspective. The thing about visiting London is it typically rains close to half of the days every month so you have a choice to make. You either plan a very flexible schedule and spend a lot of time inside waiting for the sun to come out or you have to be willing to get wet. So if you are like us and only have a couple days and really want to see and enjoy the city you are going to get wet (in our case very wet).
Life is a lot like visiting London and you have a choice to make. You can either spend your life waiting (waiting for just the right opportunities, waiting for all the problems to work themselves out, waiting for your next promotion or raise, waiting for a better deal, waiting for just the right timing) or you can choose to get wet.
Unfortunately too many of us choose to wait for the sun to come out and end up missing life. That is what happened to us after Connor was born. We put our life on hold, waiting for him to get off the ventilator and get better so we could get on with our plans and his childhood. At first it was just going to be a couple months, then a year, then when they told us maybe two years. We finally stopped, took a step back and re-evaluated. The sun was not going to come out for a long time so we had a choice to make. Either keep missing life and our son's childhood or get a little wet. Thankfully we chose to get wet (and we got very wet).
What you learn after awhile is that going out in the rain is only uncomfortable for the first couple of minutes. Once you are wet, you are wet. It doesn't really get any worse over time and before you know it you are having fun.
So what are you waiting for?
Life is a lot like visiting London and you have a choice to make. You can either spend your life waiting (waiting for just the right opportunities, waiting for all the problems to work themselves out, waiting for your next promotion or raise, waiting for a better deal, waiting for just the right timing) or you can choose to get wet.Unfortunately too many of us choose to wait for the sun to come out and end up missing life. That is what happened to us after Connor was born. We put our life on hold, waiting for him to get off the ventilator and get better so we could get on with our plans and his childhood. At first it was just going to be a couple months, then a year, then when they told us maybe two years. We finally stopped, took a step back and re-evaluated. The sun was not going to come out for a long time so we had a choice to make. Either keep missing life and our son's childhood or get a little wet. Thankfully we chose to get wet (and we got very wet).
What you learn after awhile is that going out in the rain is only uncomfortable for the first couple of minutes. Once you are wet, you are wet. It doesn't really get any worse over time and before you know it you are having fun.
So what are you waiting for?
One Small Step...
40 years ago today man stepped on the moon for the first time. While that is certainly a historic accomplishment to be celebrated it only represents a small part of the story. The accomplishment of those three men was only possible because of the vision, commitment, dedication and passion of thousands of other men and women. It was only possible because of the ultimate sacrifice made by three other men.
We as a society are drawn to the 'stars'. To those who are in front of the camera. Our desire for instant gratification causes us to oversimplify amazing accomplishments into a single event instead of recognizing the years of toil and anguish that made that moment possible.
So today we should certainly celebrate the amazing accomplishment of Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins (he was the one who stayed in the command module) but we should not forget that their amazing accomplishment was made possible by thousands of people working tirelessly for over nine years. Remember significant achievements are rarely, if ever, accomplished overnight.
We as a society are drawn to the 'stars'. To those who are in front of the camera. Our desire for instant gratification causes us to oversimplify amazing accomplishments into a single event instead of recognizing the years of toil and anguish that made that moment possible.
So today we should certainly celebrate the amazing accomplishment of Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins (he was the one who stayed in the command module) but we should not forget that their amazing accomplishment was made possible by thousands of people working tirelessly for over nine years. Remember significant achievements are rarely, if ever, accomplished overnight.
How not to pursuade people.
Insulting your opposition will NEVER bring them around to your point of view. It cements them against you - Shar McBee
It is amazing how many people and organizations do not understand this simple truth. Politicians (pretty self explanatory), The Evangelical Church (abortion and gay rights to name two), foreign dictators (Iran, North Korea and Venezuela all come to mind).
If you want to get your opposition to come around to your point of view the first step is to stop thinking of them as your opposition. Spend some time getting to know them, maybe even do something nice for them. You'll probably be surprised to find out you have many things in common with them, and once you find some common ground you will be able to begin constructively discussing (not fighting about) your differences.
What about you? How do you deal with your opposition?
It is amazing how many people and organizations do not understand this simple truth. Politicians (pretty self explanatory), The Evangelical Church (abortion and gay rights to name two), foreign dictators (Iran, North Korea and Venezuela all come to mind).
If you want to get your opposition to come around to your point of view the first step is to stop thinking of them as your opposition. Spend some time getting to know them, maybe even do something nice for them. You'll probably be surprised to find out you have many things in common with them, and once you find some common ground you will be able to begin constructively discussing (not fighting about) your differences.
What about you? How do you deal with your opposition?
How can I help?
How can I help? It is a question that we were asked many times during our journey with Connor and it is a question that we are now asked routinely about the families we serve through Connor's House.
Typically what people are asking is: what can I do? how can I fix it? how can I rescue you from the hell you are living in? The reality is that you can't fix it. You can't rescue the child or the family. But that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do.
Sister Frances, the founder of Helen House (the worlds first pediatric hospice house which opened in England in 1982) was once asked a similar question 'What is the most important thing we can do for the child and family' and I think her answer was perfect. 'Be willing to walk alongside them.'
It sounds simple enough, but for those of you who have walked that journey or lived that journey you know, it is far from simple. To walk alongside a child and family through the most tragic journey imaginable will stretch you to your limits. For to walk alongside is not to do or to fix but simply to be. It is to be present knowing that you cannot fix or rescue but more importantly than either of those; to be is to allow the child and family to be honest about who they are what they are going through.
Typically what people are asking is: what can I do? how can I fix it? how can I rescue you from the hell you are living in? The reality is that you can't fix it. You can't rescue the child or the family. But that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do.
Sister Frances, the founder of Helen House (the worlds first pediatric hospice house which opened in England in 1982) was once asked a similar question 'What is the most important thing we can do for the child and family' and I think her answer was perfect. 'Be willing to walk alongside them.'
It sounds simple enough, but for those of you who have walked that journey or lived that journey you know, it is far from simple. To walk alongside a child and family through the most tragic journey imaginable will stretch you to your limits. For to walk alongside is not to do or to fix but simply to be. It is to be present knowing that you cannot fix or rescue but more importantly than either of those; to be is to allow the child and family to be honest about who they are what they are going through.
Histiocytosis - Finding a Cure
New video from the Histiocytosis Associate of America (HAA). The the opening line "I think it's very difficult to be the parent of a child with a life threatening illness" just might win the understatement of the year award. Here are some of the facts that they don't give in the video:
- HLH affects 1.2 in 1,000,000 children under the age of 15 (i.e. it is very rare).
- HLH only 50% of children diagnosed with HLH will survive 5 years (Connor was one of the other 50%).
- HLH is an orphan disease and receives no federal funding for research (this makes the work of the HAA very important).
One Ordinary Person
One ordinary person with the right combination of character and determination really can change the world. - Tom Brokaw
Greatness is always built on this foundation: the ability to appear, speak and act, as the most common man. - Sams-ud-din Muhammed Hafiz
Greatness is always built on this foundation: the ability to appear, speak and act, as the most common man. - Sams-ud-din Muhammed Hafiz
Pond Tour Tickets Now Available.
TICKETS NOW AVAILABLE - Atlantis Water Gardens will be hosting their annual Parade of Ponds Tour on August 1-2, 2009 to benefit Connor's House. Your ticket gives you front row access to more than 20 breathtaking water gardens' situated at homes and businesses throughout Morris, Essex and Passaic counties during the weekend of August 1st & 2nd. All proceeds from ticket sales will be donated exclusively to Connor's House. Find out more and get ticket information at www.atlantiswatergardens.com.
Great Interview Question
While meeting with the folks at George Mark Children's House last week the topic of hiring came up. They suggested a great interview question. It is definitely applicable to small to mid-sized social service non-profits but I think it is good assesment question regardless of the size of your business or industry it is in. Ask all candidates, regardless of the type or level of job they are interviewing for, if necessary would they be willing to do the dishes and clean the facility? Would you?
You know you are in big trouble when...
You know you are in big trouble when a bankruptcy attorney tells you that your organization cannot afford to file for chapter 11 protection.
Random Thoughts from my trip to San Francisco
Just got back from a mostly vacation in San Francisco/Northern California (one really good day of business in the middle visiting George Mark Children's House). The following are some random thoughts from the trip.
- Rental Car: Dodge Caliber - I no longer have any questions about why Chrysler went bankrupt.
- Always wash your fresh fruit - It is strawberry picking season in Northern California. I was amazed to watch the field workers pick the fruit right off the vine into the little plastic containers you find in the supermarket. The only processing involved was their hand touching the fruit.
- Pacific Coast Highway from San Francisco to Santa Cruz - I LOVE the Jersey Shore but in terms of raw beauty it doesn't even come close.
- Napa Valley - Enjoyable day but overall it did not live up to the hype. Granted I've been spoiled by Tuscany but it was very touristy and very expensive.
- Biodynamic Farming - Very informative tour at Benziger Family Winery. If you are interested in sustainable/organic/green issues and are ever in the area (Sonoma not Napa) I recommend it.
- 4th of July Fireworks - Sitting in the shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge watching fireworks from three different cities around the bay at the same time will be a hard 4th of July experience to top.
- San Francisco is a great coffee town (especially the North Beach area).
- Driving around (up and down really) San Francisco is like riding an amusement park ride. I have not been in another city that is more fun to drive in.
- Carmel is one of the quaintest towns I have ever been in, right out of a story book.
- Red Eye flight home: I may be getting to old for that.
Parade of Ponds to benefit Connor's House
SAVE THE DATE - Atlantis Water Gardens will be hosting their annual Parade of Ponds Tour on August 1-2, 2009 to benefit Connor's House. All proceeds from the purchase of pond tour tickets will be donated to Connor's House. This self guided event will offer views of over 30 refreshing retreats and private paradises throughout Morris, Essex and Passaic Counties in Northern NJ. Stay tuned, information about tickets sales will be posted the week of July 5th.
501(c)(3)
Last night when I got home there was an envelope on the table from the IRS. My heart sank. Letters from the IRS are not typically good news. But I opened it to find the exact opposite. The best letter I think I (Connor's House really) will ever receive from the IRS. Unless they write to tell me I have been overpaying my taxes for years and they owe me tens of thousands of dollars.
Will you choose hope?
What does your future hold? Well that is up to you. Certainly there are a lot of things to be discouraged about in the world right now; but being discouraged is a choice, just like being hopeful is. Which will you choose?
If you are reading this post via RSS or in email and can't see the video click here.
If you are reading this post via RSS or in email and can't see the video click here.
Be the Match Marrowthon
From June 8-22, the Be The Match Marrowthon seeks to add 46,000 new members to the registry and raise funds for the Be The Match Foundation. The normal $100 registration fee is waived for the first 46,000 new members. Joining the registry is as easy as filling out a health questionnaire and swabbing the inside of your cheek with a cotton swab.
Anyone between the ages of 18 and 60, in good health and willing to help any patient in need can join in person at one of many community drives taking place across the country or online at www.marrow.org to find how to register to become a bone marrow donor.
You can help save a life!!!
You can help save a life!!!
The Poor
"The rich exist for the sake of the poor. The poor exist for the salvation of the rich.”
- St. John Chrysostom (c. 347–407)
"It is not our fault that people are poor, but it is our responsibility to do something about it” - Richard Stearns from The Hole in Our Gospel
Its your decision
I think a lot of 'leaders' misunderstand their job. Too many 'leaders' think their job is to offer advice or to be strategic thinkers. That is certainly part of it but here's the thing about being a leader; being a leader means it is your job to make decisions. And yes, some of them (correct that, most of them) will be hard. Anybody can offer opinions or pontificate about strategy but that just makes you a coach or a consultant. If you want to lead me please don't shy away from making decisions.
What do you wish your leaders would start doing more of?
What do you wish your leaders would start doing more of?
A good use for twitter?
I have previously shared my uncertainty about twitter but I may have to rethink my position.
It takes more than a good structure
As a result of the current economic times there are a lot of organizations going through restructuring processes. If you are involved in a restructuring process remember that people trump structure every time. A good structure can make good people even better but won't make bad people good. Good people can make a bad structure work but bad people will make even the best structure dysfunctional.
Do you have a restructuring story? Did it solve the problem?
Do you have a restructuring story? Did it solve the problem?
Smile
I met Kent Robson recently when he reached out to us after a mutual friend shared the Connor's House story with him. Kent writes a blog called eSentialz where he showcases and supports people who are overcoming life's challenges by telling their story so that others may be inspired. Kent just published a great story about Connor (yes I am biased and don't apologize for that) called Smile. After you read this beautiful story take some time to be inspired by some of the other amazing people Kent has profiled and sign up for his updates, he has some great stories in the works.
Takes All Types
If you have been following either this blog or Connor's story for any length of time you know that Deb and I are both huge supporters of blood donation and that Connor's House has partnered with The Blood Center of New Jersey (BCNJ) to help raise awareness about the need for blood donors and host blood drives in our local community.
BCNJ recently partnered with Takes all Types to help build a new generation of blood donors. Takes All Types (TAT) is a not-for-profit that uses online social networks to connect a new generation of blood donors to the blood collection organizations who urgently need them.
You can use TAT social networking tools to learn about area blood drives and to promote the initiative throughout your own social network by educating your friends about the importance of blood donation and recruiting new donors.
TAT enables caring people to quickly and conveniently volunteer as blood donors, show the world their proud participation and urge their friends to donate too. One in three of us will need a blood transfusion at some point in our lives so take a minute to invite some friends – make sure that the blood is there when it is needed to save someone’s life.
BCNJ recently partnered with Takes all Types to help build a new generation of blood donors. Takes All Types (TAT) is a not-for-profit that uses online social networks to connect a new generation of blood donors to the blood collection organizations who urgently need them.
You can use TAT social networking tools to learn about area blood drives and to promote the initiative throughout your own social network by educating your friends about the importance of blood donation and recruiting new donors.
TAT enables caring people to quickly and conveniently volunteer as blood donors, show the world their proud participation and urge their friends to donate too. One in three of us will need a blood transfusion at some point in our lives so take a minute to invite some friends – make sure that the blood is there when it is needed to save someone’s life.
Sam Adams (more than just beer)
I got an email from a doctor today who was referred to Connor's House by a family we are currently supporting. He was interested in talking about a new program he is starting to provide care coordination services for children with complex medical needs. The following quote was on the bottom of his email
"It does not take a majority to prevail...but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men" Samuel AdamsThe quote alone made me want to talk to him and learn more about his program.
Good Tired
As I drove home from the CIR National Convention tonight the following quote from Harry Chapin came to my mind.
It was a long day and I am tired. But tonight I am good tired.
"There's two kinds of tired. There's good tired and there's bad tired.Tonight I am good tired. Deb and I got to spend the day sharing the vision of Connor's House with an amazing group of delegates, organizers, staff and the executive committee from CIR. I could not be more pleased with how everything went. The CIR staff were amazing. From top to bottom they went way out of their way to help and support us. The doctors we met, mostly 1st and 2nd year residents, give me great hope for the future of medicine in our country. They were receptive, engaged, thoughtful and passionate about making a difference in the lives of their patients and how the health care system works.Ironically enough, bad tired can be a day that you won. But you won other people's battles, you lived other people's days, other people's agendas, other people's dreams, and when it's all over there was very little you in there. And when you hit the hay at night somehow you toss and turn, you don't settle easy.
Good tired, ironically enough, can be a day that you lost. But you won't even have to tell yourself, because you knew you fought your battles, you chased your dreams, you lived your days. And when you hit the hay at night, you settle easy, you sleep the sleep of the just, and you can say, 'Take me away'."
It was a long day and I am tired. But tonight I am good tired.
Servant or Self-Serving
What type of leader are you? A servant leader or a self-serving leader? Both can be effective but only one is loved. Both can make you feel needed and important but one will forget about you once they have gotten what they needed. Both will sometimes fail but only one will accept responsibility. Both will ask you for your ideas but only one will give you the credit.
What type of leader are you? What type of leader do your co-workers or subordinates think you are?
What type of leader are you? What type of leader do your co-workers or subordinates think you are?
This is how I want to live
I attended a conference last week where Kevin Carroll was one of the speakers. I first became aware of Kevin many years ago when he spoke at a business meeting I attended. During his talk last week he shared the following quote from James Michener:
How about you?
“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he's always doing both.”This is the type of integrated life that I want to live. Some days I feel like I am getting closer to this goal but lately I feel like it is getting further away. Must be time to think about making some adjustments.
How about you?
New Resources Now Available
The Connor’s House Team is committed to helping improve the health care system for children with complex health care needs by providing educational resources for medical professionals and families. In preparation for the CIR National Convention this weekend in Philadelphia we are excited to be releasing our first three educational articles. The following articles are now available for download.
Practical Lessons: Patient- and Family- Centered Care
Palliative Care: Confronting the Elephant in the Room
What is a Respite House?
Practical Lessons: Patient- and Family- Centered Care
Palliative Care: Confronting the Elephant in the Room
What is a Respite House?
Connor's House Display Board
Just got the new display board back from the printer (it looks really good 4 feet wide). We will be using this to help us tell the Connor's House story at conferences and speaking engagements. It will get it's public debut this coming weekend at the CIR National Convention.
We will also be publishing three new educational articles for the conference that I will post over the next couple of days.
Faith, Courage or Stupidity
Several times over the past 9 months or so Deb and I have had a discussion about one or both of us quitting our jobs to focus full time on developing Connor's House. The conversations, so far, eventually come to some version of the same conclusion; it would be too risky at this point in time to follow that course of action.
I'm never 100% convinced. Dreams have a tendency to blur the line between faith, courage and stupidity. One of the bloggers I follow, Ben Arment, announced today that he is making just this sort of leap. I admire his (and his families) faith/courage and wish them the best.
I'm never 100% convinced. Dreams have a tendency to blur the line between faith, courage and stupidity. One of the bloggers I follow, Ben Arment, announced today that he is making just this sort of leap. I admire his (and his families) faith/courage and wish them the best.
Two definitions
The following are two definitions of palliative care.
Palliative care for children and young people with life-limiting conditions is an active and total approach to care, from the point of diagnosis or recognition, embracing physical, emotional, social and spiritual elements through to death and beyond. It focuses on enhancement of quality of life for the child/young person and support for the family and includes the management of distressing symptoms, provision of short breaks and care through death and bereavement. The Association for Children’s Palliative Care (ACT)
Palliative Care is comprehensive, specialized care provided by an interdisciplinary team to patients and families living with a life-threatening or severe advanced illness expected to progress toward dying and where care is particularly focused on alleviating suffering and promoting quality of life. Major concerns are pain and symptom management, information sharing and advance care planning, psychosocial and spiritual support, and coordination of care. The American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine
Do they say the same thing? No, not at all. The first definition bases the need for services on the disease only (from the point of diagnosis or recognition...through to death and beyond). While the second definition bases the need for services on the progression of the disease (life-threatening or severe advanced illness) which is subjective and allows medical professionals to put off the discussion. This further reinforces the perception that palliative care is about death and not about enhancing life. Furthermore the second definition does not account for services the family will need subsequent to the death of the patient.
In my opinion the differences between these definitions are a key factor in helping us understand why palliative care services in the UK are at least 20 years ahead of those in the US.
Palliative care for children and young people with life-limiting conditions is an active and total approach to care, from the point of diagnosis or recognition, embracing physical, emotional, social and spiritual elements through to death and beyond. It focuses on enhancement of quality of life for the child/young person and support for the family and includes the management of distressing symptoms, provision of short breaks and care through death and bereavement. The Association for Children’s Palliative Care (ACT)
Palliative Care is comprehensive, specialized care provided by an interdisciplinary team to patients and families living with a life-threatening or severe advanced illness expected to progress toward dying and where care is particularly focused on alleviating suffering and promoting quality of life. Major concerns are pain and symptom management, information sharing and advance care planning, psychosocial and spiritual support, and coordination of care. The American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine
Do they say the same thing? No, not at all. The first definition bases the need for services on the disease only (from the point of diagnosis or recognition...through to death and beyond). While the second definition bases the need for services on the progression of the disease (life-threatening or severe advanced illness) which is subjective and allows medical professionals to put off the discussion. This further reinforces the perception that palliative care is about death and not about enhancing life. Furthermore the second definition does not account for services the family will need subsequent to the death of the patient.
In my opinion the differences between these definitions are a key factor in helping us understand why palliative care services in the UK are at least 20 years ahead of those in the US.
Identify and Confront the Issues
Some things are really hard to deal with. However, if you want to affect change usually the best choice is to take the direct approach. It may be uncomfortable. It may be downright painful, but until you can name the issues and identify them openly and honestly you can never deal with them.
Take for example pediatric palliative care. People don't like to talk about it because it forces them to deal with death and dying. Even worse, to deal with children dying and of course we all know that children are not supposed to die. So, we just don't talk about it. We find other words to describe it (which just confuses people) and we put off the conversation until it is too late to do anything about it. Once you confront the issue though, you can talk about it. So guess what ***BREAKING NEWS*** I'm going to die, you are going to die, and too many really sick kids in this world are going to die. I'm sorry. It is an awful fact, but it is a fact. So now that we have identified that fact, let's move on and have honest conversations about how we are going to maximize the quality of life for children with complex health care needs, together with their families, from diagnosis through death and beyond. Ignoring it won't make it go away but it will most certainly make the process more painful and lead to more regret. If managed correctly dying only has to be painful for those left behind and far too often that is not the case.
I've picked an extreme example because it is something I'm passionate about seeing changed, but the same principle can be applied to family issues, marital issues, work issues, etc. Yes, the conversations may be very painful but long term, not having them will be more painful.
Take for example pediatric palliative care. People don't like to talk about it because it forces them to deal with death and dying. Even worse, to deal with children dying and of course we all know that children are not supposed to die. So, we just don't talk about it. We find other words to describe it (which just confuses people) and we put off the conversation until it is too late to do anything about it. Once you confront the issue though, you can talk about it. So guess what ***BREAKING NEWS*** I'm going to die, you are going to die, and too many really sick kids in this world are going to die. I'm sorry. It is an awful fact, but it is a fact. So now that we have identified that fact, let's move on and have honest conversations about how we are going to maximize the quality of life for children with complex health care needs, together with their families, from diagnosis through death and beyond. Ignoring it won't make it go away but it will most certainly make the process more painful and lead to more regret. If managed correctly dying only has to be painful for those left behind and far too often that is not the case.
I've picked an extreme example because it is something I'm passionate about seeing changed, but the same principle can be applied to family issues, marital issues, work issues, etc. Yes, the conversations may be very painful but long term, not having them will be more painful.
Are you too rationale?
Ever have trouble figuring out why people do the things they do? Maybe the problem is you are thinking too rationally and if you give that up you will understand people better.
Happy Birthday to my best friend.
This one is a little personal so thanks for indulging me. I could not let the day go by without publicly saying Happy Birthday to the most beautiful person I have ever met. Today I celebrate the gift that Deb is to me. For twelve and a half years she has been my trusted partner, confidant, coach and lover. Additionally she is the best mother I have ever met (sorry mom - I love you too). She perfectly complements my shortcomings and there is nobody else I would rather have by my side and on my team. With her next to me anything is possible.
She says I'm biased, I say I'm just truthful. Thanks for being you Deb. Happy Birthday!
Envisioning the future
While my personal technology biases do not typically allow me to think of cutting edge and Microsoft as synonymous, the following video which shows Microsoft's vision for computing in 2019 (yes only 10 years from now) is very thought provoking. The concepts shown are based on current research projects being worked on in their labs. It is only two minutes long and worth watching.
Question. If these visions become reality would it change how you connect and interact with your clients/consumers/patients/participants/congregants/etc..?
Question. If these visions become reality would it change how you connect and interact with your clients/consumers/patients/participants/congregants/etc..?
Simplicity - Part 4
Simplicity is a result of clarity and focus. If you don't have clarity and focus then you have no rationale for saying NO. Clarity and focus help you know what to say NO to and when to say it. If you want to be good at a few things you have to say NO to many things, and if you want to be great at one thing then you need to say NO to almost everything.
People will always want you to expand your services, add more features, or make more products. They will try to convince you it is the right thing for you to do by demonstrating the need or showing you it can be profitable. They will say something like...you do that so well why don't you try this...
Here's the thing, they aren't really trying to make you better, they are really trying to get you to meet their wants or needs. Unfortunately more often than not, if you continue to add features, products or programs, at some point you won't be great at what you started with, because you aren't focused on it anymore.
This is why a clear mission is so important, both personally and professionally, especially in the non-profit world. A clear mission allows you to say NO. If your mission is not clear enough and focused enough that it allows you to say NO, then do yourself a favor, rewrite it now.
You can't be everything to everyone. At least not with a high level of quality.
Simplicity - Part 1
Simplicity - Part 2
Simplicity - Part 3
People will always want you to expand your services, add more features, or make more products. They will try to convince you it is the right thing for you to do by demonstrating the need or showing you it can be profitable. They will say something like...you do that so well why don't you try this...
Here's the thing, they aren't really trying to make you better, they are really trying to get you to meet their wants or needs. Unfortunately more often than not, if you continue to add features, products or programs, at some point you won't be great at what you started with, because you aren't focused on it anymore.
This is why a clear mission is so important, both personally and professionally, especially in the non-profit world. A clear mission allows you to say NO. If your mission is not clear enough and focused enough that it allows you to say NO, then do yourself a favor, rewrite it now.
You can't be everything to everyone. At least not with a high level of quality.
Simplicity - Part 1
Simplicity - Part 2
Simplicity - Part 3
One Day Without Shoes
I was first introduced to TOMS Shoes at the Catalyst conference last fall. It is a neat organization with a great mission. Check them out. By doing nothing more than something you probably like to do anyway (buy stuff for yourself) you can help a child.
You can't manage change
I'm spending a lot of time right now working with a couple different non-profit organizations on restructuring projects (not Connor's House in case you were wondering, we are still working on structuring...too soon for restructuring). One of the people I am working with sent me this quote by Peter Drucker on managing change which I thought was worth sharing.
“One cannot manage change. One can only be ahead of it. In a period of upheavals, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm. To be sure, it is painful and risky, and above all it requires a great deal of very hard work. But unless it is seen as the task of the organization to lead change, the organization will not survive. In a period of rapid structural change, the only ones who survive are the change leaders. A change leader sees change as an opportunity. A change leader looks for change, knows how to find the right changes, and knows how to make them effective both outside the organization and inside it. To make the future is highly risky. It is less risky, however, than not to try to make it. A goodly proportion of those attempting to will surely not succeed. But predictably, no one else will.”
“One cannot manage change. One can only be ahead of it. In a period of upheavals, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm. To be sure, it is painful and risky, and above all it requires a great deal of very hard work. But unless it is seen as the task of the organization to lead change, the organization will not survive. In a period of rapid structural change, the only ones who survive are the change leaders. A change leader sees change as an opportunity. A change leader looks for change, knows how to find the right changes, and knows how to make them effective both outside the organization and inside it. To make the future is highly risky. It is less risky, however, than not to try to make it. A goodly proportion of those attempting to will surely not succeed. But predictably, no one else will.”
I wonder...
I wonder...what is God thinking about today (for those of you not familiar with the judeo-christian calendar today is the first night of passover which is also the night Jesus was betrayed and the day before he was crucified)?
I know what I think about around the anniversary of Connor's death. I replay the events in my mind over and over and over. Wondering. Questioning. Crying. The memories are so vivid. The emotions are so intense and raw. It feels like it happened yesterday.
I wonder...does God still replay the events of those fateful days, almost 2000 years ago, over and over in His mind? Does He still wonder, question and cry; wishing it could have all ended differently for His son?
I wonder...
I know what I think about around the anniversary of Connor's death. I replay the events in my mind over and over and over. Wondering. Questioning. Crying. The memories are so vivid. The emotions are so intense and raw. It feels like it happened yesterday.
I wonder...does God still replay the events of those fateful days, almost 2000 years ago, over and over in His mind? Does He still wonder, question and cry; wishing it could have all ended differently for His son?
I wonder...
Asking the right questions
The following is a real interchange that I witnessed this morning at breakfast:
If they only had cheese danish why in the world would she ask the customer what type of danish they wanted? Instead when the customer asks for a danish simply say: sure would cheese be OK?
If you want to keep your customers happy learn how to ask questions that make them feel like they are in control while steering them toward selections that you can accommodate.
Waitress: What can I get for you?I'm sure the waitress meant well but somebody needs to teach her how to ask questions that keep customers happy instead of questions that result in unmet expectations.
Customer 1: Do you have danish?
Waitress: Yes, what type would you like?
Customer 1: How about cheese?
Waitress: OK
Waitress: And what can I get for you (to the next person at the table)?
Customer 2: I would like a danish also.
Waitress: What type would you like?
Customer 2: Apple.
Waitress: I'm sorry we only have cheese danish today.
Customer 2: (a little quizzically) um, OK, cheese is fine.
If they only had cheese danish why in the world would she ask the customer what type of danish they wanted? Instead when the customer asks for a danish simply say: sure would cheese be OK?
If you want to keep your customers happy learn how to ask questions that make them feel like they are in control while steering them toward selections that you can accommodate.
The service you didn't know you needed
Even after working in the IT field for so many years I am typically a late adopter of new technology. Partly because I try to keep my life simple and I am not at all convinced that technology always helps with that. Also because over the years I have started using too many new technologies that have eventually been discontinued and then I have to find a replacement so I now wait to see who the survivors are going to be before jumping in. Well Twitter is one of those technologies. It seems like it is likely here to stay but I am still not convinced it is going to improve my life. The following is an interview from the Colbert Report last week with the co-founder of Twitter. It is hilarious and Colbert does a brilliant job of pointing out all the issues I have with Twitter.
Simplicity - Part 3
There are lots of different areas that the concepts of simplicity can be applied to: Organizational Design, Systems, Product Design, Architecture, Personal Life (including: finances, belongings and behaviors), etc..
For many years simplicity was out of vogue. For most of the past decade bigger was better and shiny and new were the rule. However over the past twelve months simplicity is making a comeback driven largely by the current economic crisis. Why? Because complexity is costly and inefficient so people are streamlining their lives both personally and professionally.
What are you doing to simplify?
Simplicity - Part 1
Simplicity - Part 2
For many years simplicity was out of vogue. For most of the past decade bigger was better and shiny and new were the rule. However over the past twelve months simplicity is making a comeback driven largely by the current economic crisis. Why? Because complexity is costly and inefficient so people are streamlining their lives both personally and professionally.
What are you doing to simplify?
Simplicity - Part 1
Simplicity - Part 2
I'll Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse
I recently finished I'll Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse by Micheal Franzese for the Thomas Nelson BRB project. What can I say, being from New Jersey how could I refuse the opportunity to review a business book written by an ex-mobster.
I actually listened to the book instead of reading it because it was published under the Nelsonfree imprint (and I spent six hours in the car last weekend). More on that here.
In I'll Make You An Offer, Franzese effectively relates extremely practical business and leadership lessons learned through his life in the mob, using engaging stories and cautionary tales, all without glorifying the life of crime he led. In fact, in contrast to all the get rich quick schemes that fill the business shelves today, Franzese was refreshingly straight forward about the consequences of taking shortcuts in business or life.
Unlike most business and leadership books on the best seller list there were no quick fixes offered or 10 step processes to follow. Instead Franzese focuses on the hard work and dedication required to prepare you for success. Rather than quoting Welch, Gates, Buffet, Jobs or any other modern day business titan, Franzese reaches much further back for his business and leadership wisdom.
Listening to Franzese compare and contrast Solomon with Machiavelli causes you to see these men in a different light and think outside the box regarding where you look for leadership lessons.
If you like to be entertained while you learn, I'll Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse is worth the read (or listen).
I actually listened to the book instead of reading it because it was published under the Nelsonfree imprint (and I spent six hours in the car last weekend). More on that here.
In I'll Make You An Offer, Franzese effectively relates extremely practical business and leadership lessons learned through his life in the mob, using engaging stories and cautionary tales, all without glorifying the life of crime he led. In fact, in contrast to all the get rich quick schemes that fill the business shelves today, Franzese was refreshingly straight forward about the consequences of taking shortcuts in business or life.
Unlike most business and leadership books on the best seller list there were no quick fixes offered or 10 step processes to follow. Instead Franzese focuses on the hard work and dedication required to prepare you for success. Rather than quoting Welch, Gates, Buffet, Jobs or any other modern day business titan, Franzese reaches much further back for his business and leadership wisdom.
Listening to Franzese compare and contrast Solomon with Machiavelli causes you to see these men in a different light and think outside the box regarding where you look for leadership lessons.
If you like to be entertained while you learn, I'll Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse is worth the read (or listen).
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